Everything's been done, they say. But they don't say just how embarrassing it is when you think you've dreamt up something new, then acted it out for millions, only to find out it's entirely old hat. Happened to a friend of mine back in the seventies. She went on one of these old TV talent shows sometime around Christmas and had her pets projectile vomit holiday brew onto the panel of judges. They were not amused—not because they were covered in feline stomach acid, but because they had seen the tired act many times before. In fact, one of them had once performed the routine with his own pets. His recommendation: Go back to that Star Trek reenactment thing you used to do.

• Gong! Geek up, Stacy—my cats puke egg nog.