". . . or I'll eat my hat" is the usual expression following a pronouncement of certainty. Others, though, proclaim that, if their statments are proven false, they will eat the nearest artist. I, for instance, was certain that no truly wise prisoner held at Guantanamo would ever be shown to the public. I was wrong, it turns out. Behold the consequences:

• Sage detainees seen. I ate Degas.