6/6/06?

• Sir, is one more omen Osiris?

Fundamentalists tend to be a speedy bunch and they have often challenged God's creatures to contests of velocity. Can you imagine the humiliation of being turned down for a competition when lowly beasts are allowed to pit their strength against these religious minded folk?

• Deer raced Islamists? I'm Al "Side-car" Reed!

We all have our ways of digesting the bible. Some of us swallow the whole thing in one gulp, others take it in piece by piece. But however you consume your dose of religion, certain sections are bound to give indigestion—Revelations, say. Sometimes, though, it's a specific edition that goes down wrong, after which it comes right back up.

• No, Ed, I gasp. Ruby burps a Gideon.