Play That Phone-key Music

No longer topping the charts with booty-shaking disco classics, the lead singer of The Sunshine Band has turned his attentions to that other American pursuit: gadgetry. Believe it or not, he was in line the day Apple released its latest wonder. And he was one of the first to hack its operating system. Of course, after he tried to install the newest version of the OS, he lost service completely. And, what's worse, the headphones seemed to be causing the formation of a lump in his ear. Never mind the fact that he was left unable to print out several songs he'd written as text messages to friends. In a fit of frustration, he thew the thing across the room. His bodyguard, a die hard Motorola fan, who witnessed the outburst, shrugged his shoulders and uttered the following:

• KC, its an iPhone: no tone, no hp, in a stick.